Now don`t get me wrong, I really like machines. I can`t imagine life without them, but they have an insidious way of weaseling their way into your life to the point that you become totally dependent on them for almost every aspect of survival in a modern world.Faced with the prospect of living as our ancestors did-stalking and killing wild game for food, digging for grubs under rocks, hiking perhaps for miles to obtain potable water...Well MAYBE I could if I had to, but inspite of all of the problems my machines present to me on a daily basis I still cherish my electric lights, my refrigerator, the car, television, and can openers. No fire? No wheels? Unthinkable! So as you can see I`ve resigned myself to the fact that I need my machines to be happy at many different levels.
Once having admitted to myself that I really need my machines, I realized that I needed a gameplan to cope with their eccentricities. I`ll never forget my first motorcycle. As a new driver the thrill of the speed and mobility it afforded was indescribable. But on cold mornings I would be sitting in the driveway trying to kickstart it until there was no strength left in my leg, as my classmates would walk by on their way to school saying "look at Shultz trying to start his motorcycle again". Often they would arrive at school before I did. Very frustrating. I decided to learn how this machine worked so I could fix it myself. I had good success with this tack until they started putting sealed thousand dollar computer brains into the vehicles. Learning to fix my own tv`s and stereos also proved worthwhile, and I ended up doing this for a living. But the problem with the do it yourself approach was that even though many of the simpler problems could be fixed, the more I learned about a particular system the more mysterious and complex the problems became, leaving me still at the mercy of the machine...
The next strategy was keeping back-ups at hand. Over the years I have never had more than two tv`s fail me on the same day that I had an important program to watch, so by keeping at least three around at all times I have never missed an important program since. By keeping three VCR`s, a generator for when the power grid is down, a battery backup system for when the generator won`t start, a solar panel to keep the batteries charged as long as the sun comes up, and an antenna to use when the cable is out I finally feel secure that no matter what I will be able to kick back and watch a show. As far as my refrigerator is concerned, I don`t have the space for two, and I was devistated when it failed. It is a very simple machine, one of the last culprits I would have suspected, as it has no moving parts. But after twenty years a heater element burned out and had to be replaced. I now have a spare element, and am ready for next time. Can openers have also given me problems. They don`t always work on every type of can. I love how the little metal lid is held securely by the magnet as the can of food drops to the floor. Keeping three different types of can opener seems to have solved that problem. The one that always works is also the simplest-a military style "p-38" which fits on my keychain. It is also the most work...
I have come to the conclusion that A GOOD MACHINE IS A SIMPLE MACHINE! I expect my car to malfunction on a regular basis, and often at the most inopritune times, like the day I drove to Los Angeles to board a plane for Europe, or the time I was out in the middle of the desert, miles from the nearest help. It always seems to start at times when I really wouldn`t mind if it didn`t, like in the morning when its time to go to work. Electric lights don`t fail often, but just in case I keep a kerosene lamp and candles handy. I have always had good success with candles. The computer, well, this is by far the most complex machine I own, and I avoided getting one for years for just that reason. No matter how long I study I will never know all there is to know about it, and I can expect it to do something mysterious almost daily. This has become the current focus of my love/hate relationship with the machine. I can`t afford a backup, and I think it knows it!
As I ponder all of the various sundry inventions of mankind, the only one I have absolutely no mixed feelings about is fire. I have never had problems getting fire to work. The wheel was a pretty good invention too, but beyond that I have at least some mixed feelings about any machine and their mutinous ways. Mind you that I`m not suggesting that they have any kind of will or life of their own-I realise that it can all be explained away with science and physics, but (especially with the computer) it sure seems at times that they know when I am the most in need of them and the most vunerable to their highjinks. I hope all of you are having good luck with your machines today...A good machine is a simple machine!