1.Smoking calms the nerves.
2.Smoking makes me look sexy.
3.Cigarette packs have valuable coupons which I can use to get cool gifts.
4.Smoking gives me something to do with my hands.
5.Smoking keeps me from overeating by dulling the taste of food.
6.Smoking is a good excuse for numerous breaks outside during working hours.
7.My tobacco company always remembers my birthday.
8.Smoking makes me look glamourous.
9.A cigarette is useful as a timer when lighting fireworks fuses.
10.Smoking helps pass the time.
11.By smoking I don`t have to wonder what I`ll die from,I can be certain.
12.Smoking helps stimulate the economy in tobacco growing states.
13.Smoking is traditional,dating back to antiquity.
14.Asking for a light or a cigarette is an easy way to meet someone and get aquainted.
15.Smoking makes one look at ease in uncomfortable social situations.
16.Cigarette burns in chlothing gives me a good reason to buy new chlothes.
17.The danger of fire from smoking in bed adds intrigue and excitement to my life.
18.By being a smoker other peoples smoke does`nt bother me, making me more socialable and tolerant.
19.Smoking leaves an interesting taste in my mouth,which many women find irresistable.
20.Smoking gives me a good solid deep cough,which is useful to discourage long winded customers on house calls.
21.A lit cigarette is very useful for lighting fireworks on the Fourth of July.
22.As ashtrays fill up I get a feeling of accomplishment.
23.Smoking is my way of expressing my freedom of choice.
24.Everyone needs at least one thing to do that is bad.
25.Cigarette ashes and milk can be used to make ink, which can really help pass the time in jail.
26.Nicotine binds with my neural receptors, freeing up calcium ions to engage in neural transmitter activity, thereby increacing my memory and mental alertness.
27.Cigarette butts help make city workers feel needed as they sweep them up from the streets.
28.Cigarette butts are good for plugging up small bullet holes in walls and ceilings.
29.Smoking helps perpetuate the traditions of Americas old west.
30.Smoking helps other smokers feel better about their pathetic habit.
31.Smoking helps one get even with the landlord by slowly turning the nice clean walls brown.
32.Smoke helps to discourage insects.
33.A lit cigarette is useful as a potential defensive weapon during muggings.
34.By smoking I always have a working lighter at hand to loan to co-workers when they need to heat up a piece of shrink tubing.
35.Smoking makes me feel rich as I engage in this non-essential and expensive habit.
36.Cigarettes are a handy substitute for chips when playing card games.
37.You can always count on your cigarettes being there for you when you need them.
38.A cigarette is a nice token gift to give a smoking stranger.
39.Smoking helps break the ice.
40.A smokers hack helps others to know where you are.
41.If you feel like being offensive, smoking is a great way to bug non-smokers.
42.Smoking helps numb you from the effects of cold weather.
43.By smoking I always have a lighter at hand for lighting bar-b-q`s and campfires.
44.Chunks of phlem and sputum coughed up can be used as a lubricant during sex.
45.A gun, a beer, and a cigarette really go together.(as in the beareau of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms).
46.Smoking is one way to remind yourself that you need to periodically clean your monitor and television screens.
47.When you tour cigarette manufacturing plants, you`ll feel much more at home if you are a smoker.
48.Smoking is a great way to tell the world "I just don`t care!".
49.Smoking makes me look more grown up.
50.Smoking is a good way to bond with your smoking friends.
51.Continually talking about how you plan to quit or wish you could quit makes interesting conversation.
52.Trying to obtain cigarettes as a minor is a fun challenge.
53.Telling the boss that you would quit if you only had some time off is one way to get a vacation.
54.Smoking helps hospitals keep those expensive machines they have in use.
55.Smoking calms me down.
56.By smoking you can get others who don`t like it to pay you money if you quit.
57.Smoking gives you something to do in jail.
58.Smoking and outdoor sports belong together-just look at the ads!
59.By smoking you give others who would like to feel sorry for you something to feel sorry about.
60.Smoking helps hide other problems.
61.Smoking helps you feel less hungry.
62.Smoking keeps your immune system up to full speed.
63.By smoking you have a variety of cool role models to identify with.
64.Your choice of cigarette brands helps others to understand you better.
65.Opposing non-smoking legislation gives you a good excuse to get out and vote.
66.As a smoker I get mail from smokers groups-I love to get mail!
67.Smoking is controversial!
68.I would much rather argue with people about my smoking habit than politics or religion.
69.If you never smoke you can`t feel the accomplishment of quitting.
70.I smoke because I can-freedom is important to me.
71.My cigarette taxes help alot of needy people.
72.Smoking is a good excuse to use fire throughout the day.
73.Tossing a cigarette butt on the street makes you feel like you`re getting away with something.
74.A full ashtray in my car makes me feel like it`s really mine.
75.If smokers did`nt toss lit butts out of their car windows many firefighters would lose their jobs.
76.If I did`nt smoke I would probably do something worse as a substitute, possibly even something immoral or illegal.
77.I wouldn`t really feel like I fit in at A.A. meetings if I did`nt smoke.
78.Thinking of the day I quit gives me something to look forward to.
79.By smoking I do not have to worry about the effects of second hand smoke.
80.Smoking helps break up the long work day.
81.I smoke for taste.
82.If everybody quit smoking what would all the non-smokers have to whine about all day?
83.Smoking helps me with morning sickness when I`m pregnant.
84.A lit cigarette makes a handy timer when cooking eggs.
85.A lit cigarette helps prostitutes let their customers know when their time is up.
86.When you stand at a street corner smoking a cigarette you don`t look like you`re loitering.
87.By not smoking around non-smokers you show them what a considerate person you are.
88.Cigarette filters are useful for cleaning your small caliber weapons if you run out of gun patches.
89.A cigarette butt dropped into your empty beer bottle makes a cool sound as it goes "psssssst".
90.Smoking helps alert your parents that you are dissatisfied with the way things are going at home and that they are failing you as parents.
91.Smoking helps promote peer acceptance.
92.Smoking helps others remember that you have rights too!
93.Smoking helps me remember that I am not perfect.
94.Smoking promotes sharing as you offer a cigarette to a fellow smoker.
95.Lighting a woman`s cigarette for her is a nice way of saying "I`m aware of you and I care".
96.By smoking you always have a small box handy to write a phone number on or carry a small part in without loosing it.
97.By smoking you can always make a musical instrument from the cellophane wrapper and your comb when a little music is called for.
98.Cigarette smoke helps you identify air flow patterns in your home when you are insulating, thereby saving energy and the earth`s precious resources.
99.Smoking helps keep you aware of how your rights are being turned into privlidges and how your privlidges are slowly being taken away.
100.Nothing is funnier than pretending like you`re going to light a cigarette while in a flammable environment.
101.Cigarettes make handy little weights for testing the buoyancy of homemade lighter than air Hydrogen balloons.
102.Cigarette butts can double as emergency line floats or even bait when fishing.
103.A lit cigarette is a great way to safely ignite your pyrotechnic mixtures.
104.Cigarette smoke looks really cool when blown into the beam of a laser.Very useful if you are servicing a laser disk player.
105.Cigarettes are handy when doing wind tunnel experiments.
106.Cigarette butts can be turned into interesting and unusual art projects.(see below).